Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Mourning for...ourselves (A change arises)

For God did not give us a Spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control. http://bible.us/2Tim1.7.NET

So hubby and I have jumped the ship of "comfort and sweat pants" and joined the rocky waters of Cross Fit Maximus, here in Lexington.  We have completed nearly 2 weeks worth of their Academy and OMG> I must be a masochist to go back and back again and again.  I still feel really anxious about those every other day 400 meter runs.  Why? You may ask yourself, "If you have been working out and eating healthy, one lap around the track can't be that bad" YOU ARE WRONG. I can lift heavy things and... well, that's about it.  I spent so much time on that, that the cardio part fell by the wayside.  I know, I know.  The core strengthening is so much more important, but when you get winded just jogging *read: slowly* 400 meters, you could definitely do worse than to keep doing it.  

Basically, today's post is about accepting your severe, human flaws.  A couple of things inspired this, but I have been dwelling on this idea for a while now, and have overcome my blogging laziness to actually bring it to light.  There's this gentleman who is probably in his mid 60's who has dared to join Cross Fit Maximus.  I KNOW! Isn't that awesome?! The group there, is filled with older teens, all the way to the ones who get a senior citizen discount at Dennys.  No, I'm not judging that last bit, I'm jealous.  I want a discount!

Anyway, you can tell this guy wants to change.  You can tell that he wants to be better, and that he's not kidding himself with ideas of grandeur of doing several dead hang pull ups and then deadlifting 300 pounds just as a warm up.  This guy is out of shape. Just like everyone else that is in Academy. Well, admittedly there are a couple of guys and gals that make me wonder why I even dare coming in there, (and secretly hate that they can sport those tight CUTE workout outfits, while I'm wearing a grungy loose t-shirt and yoga pants).  But the great part about this, is that truly, honestly, no one comes in there to judge others.  Not to sound like I don't care about how everyone else is feeling, but I didn't fork over my hard earned money, just so I could go into a gym and act like I'm the coolest one in the room because I joined the Cross Fit mania.  We all want to improve, be functional, and not be in a wheel chair by the time we retire.  This guys keeps shaking his head, looking like the weight of the world is on his shoulders, instead of a barbell.  He keeps mumbling that he's so embarrassed to be here, that we are all better than he is, and how he can't believe how out of shape he is.  This guy is incredible for even attempting this gym.  He could just go walk for miles and miles or use those ridiculous gym machines and call it a day.  But he doesn't! He keeps coming back.  So even though he feels ashamed, there is a reason he keeps trying.  That is the beautiful human condition, my friends.  What keeps us trying is our innate need to function as the beautiful creations that we are.

This is not a "Cross Fit RULES!" mania monologue, (although the alliteration is pretty awesome) but rather, accepting that we are flawed.  Our bodies LOVE comfort and we will tell ourselves every excuse in the world why watching re runs of "Ridiculousness" is more fun than getting your ass kicked for a few minutes and coming home feeling like you did better than last time.  

We are not immortal.  We are not the exception to the rule.  When we see what others are doing and go "Oh that's nice, they're working hard to make their lives better.  Now where's my remote?" That is an EPIC FAIL, people.  Not trying, is failure.  So basically, we are in mourning for how our bodies actually are, and how we have seen them this whole time.  We are mourning the fact that we aren't as good, or our excuses have been just that, and nothing more than to simply hinder our intense wishes to be better and keep doing it.

So, when you mourn something or someone, (YOU sillyhead) ask yourself, would you keep those habits going, the ones that got you to this point of the fork in  the road and keep feeling sorry for yourself, always wishing, never doing? Or are you going to suck it up, try a little at a time, til that feeling catches.  

You know what feeling I'm talking about.  That moment when you just WANT to do something good for yourself.  When you don't have to drag yourself outta bed or off the couch because you are actually EXCITED for yourself, that you are trying and you actually *gasp!* LIKE IT?!  This moment is not brought to the few, the special, and specifically talented person.  You get to have this!! It's hard to make it go away when it does catch.  It's a spark, a light, an ignition for your life.  Regardless of the fact that in the beginning, your body lies to you to stay parked in your living room, it actually starts liking the fact that you don't feel so tired and run down all the time.  It likes the fact that eating whole, unprocessed food, doesn't making your head hurt, your stomach cramp, or those really weird "muscle spasms" or "aches and pains" which mysteriously go away.  What is this? Change? Radical awesomeness? That's right.  You are now epically awesome. (I don't care that "epically" is not a word.  It totally needs to be." 

So there you have it.  That time will come for you.  Until it does, you won't change, no matter what words you use, what lies you say, and how many gym memberships you buy.  Until you accept that you are at this low low point in your life, and you simply can't stand to be there any longer, will you actually change and wonder why you didn't do this a long long time ago.  Don't waste your life.  Your body is a temple; treat it as such!

That is all.

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